I Like Your Form: Confessions of a Personal Trainer

Guest review from Texxie at PRUF Reads.

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1/2

After graduating from high school and working several dead-end jobs, JD lands a job as a personal trainer at a newly opened gym. At first he is inexperienced and shocked at how much money people are willing to drop to train with him. But soon he starts to learn the ropes of the business. It’s not long before JD carves a niche for himself training well-to-do housewives and successful older women. As he gives into these women’s demands, he is faced with an internal struggle: he wants to make money and retain clients, but he knows that what he is doing is wrong. If his girlfriend or one of his clients’ spouses ever found out about this other life he’s leading, everything could blow up in his face and it could mean the end of his career. But for the time being, what’s wrong with enjoying the attention of many attractive, sexy women who seem to be more than willing to please young JD? This hilarious and honest collection of stories includes advice for both personal trainers and clients and a look at the lesser-known-side of personal training.

Review

****The author provided me with a copy of this book for my honest review**** 

"And just like that I became one of those douchebags in the gym."

~J.D. Holmes

...and then some.

When the lovely Jillian contacted me in regards to reading and reviewing a book because I was "the first person" she thought of, I couldn't help but be intrigued. I mean who else better to review a book about a personal trainer and his sexapades than a reader/reviewer/fitness instructor?! I was eager to dive right in. I'm a big on covers and this one in particular is fantastic, quite the eye catcher (maybe not as effective as that author pic but I digress. *wink*)

I Like Your Form is a hard book for me to categorize. It's something of a quirky, often crass, how NOT to type of book. Young J.D. was the epitome of the term "man-child" He had the young trainer physique but the mind of a horny preteen and quite possibly the most gullible person alive. As I read story after story about him tumbling into bed, or desk, or massage table, or car seat, with these older women I kept thinking to myself, how stupid can one guy be?These weren't the most subtle women on the planet and young J.D. just kept snowballing. This book doesn't come across as though he's gloating, the author repeatedly admits that he himself didn't get his "appeal" and that he did nothing to draw these women in, with the exception of giving them the full hour they paid for and listened to any and everything they wished to discuss during their training session. Did I mention he's stubborn as well? Even as he saw the hole he was digging himself into  he continued jackhammering away...literally.

I'll be honest, there were times where I thought to myself, "Omg, this guy is so full of shit." At the same time, I found myself nodding yes as I read his recollections of how things can be in a gym setting. He was spot on when he broke down the different types of trainers and gym members. I got a good laugh out of that and I'll be the first to admit, I shared some of my favorite lines with a friend as we adjusted our spin bikes before class and then with a different friend after our Zumba cool down. What can I say, it was quite the conversation starter and provided some extra entertainment as I walked through the weight room, labeling everyone based on J.D.'s words. I appreciated his brutal honesty as well...

How many times have you walked into a gym and been greeted by a heffer? Chances are not often, if at all, unless it's a gym that caters only to very overweight people. I cannot recall for the life of me seeing a porky gym receptionist, but I have never set foot inside a Curves, so I could be way off.

Insensitive? Maybe? A bit harsh? Probably. Still, it is what it is and he held no punches. 

Throughout the book, the author gives great advice on how to avoid tempting pitfalls in the business, and based on his history, he would know! There really wasn't a "no no" that he didn't dabble in. He admits to be selfish, emotionally and morally stunted, and just an overall asshole. He spent his trainer years sleeping with damn near any woman who would let him and given his seemingly aversion to using protection, I'm glad that he didn't catch anything that he couldn't throw back. He looks back and realizes how lucky he is given all he's done. While I found some of the stories a little over the top, I can see his appeal without fully seeing the man himself. The author has a charming, off beat, boyish quality to his personality that even lines like this...

There's nothing worse than sticking your tongue in something that smells of a lush tropical garden but turns out tasting like the top of a nine-volt battery.

still left me grinning ear to ear and then questioning my own sanity as I "awww'ed" him a couple of times. This book isn't for everyone. He seems to be a lot like me when it comes to conversation cursing. It just comes out, and made sense with the topic at hand. For me, it actually added to the book, gave it a laid back feel that I could roll with. This author has a voice, and a talent for sure. I hope to read more from him in the future. 

Like most guys, I didn't know what to do with my life. After floating around for some time after high school, I somehow got a job as a personal trainer. There was nothing that could have prepared me for what seemed like an overnight transformation from average guy to a rock star. Along with a hefty paycheck, the added benefits to the job were mind-blowing, which I don't have time to discuss here. From housewives to co-eds to gay guys, I've trained them all with quite a few unbelievable stories over the years. I had been sharing my decade long experience with friends for some time so it seemed right to get it on paper and share it with the world. I still find the gym life fascinating and write a weekly blog about the odd things you come across when you set foot in any fitness center. Keep lifting & keep laughing
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