It's Just Love

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Matchmakers sometimes need a little help with their own love lives. Coral Nixie is living her dream. Her cottage is blocks from her beloved beach and a haven for those seeking answers for their relationship problems. And so what if her own love life is non-existent? Helping others and surfing should be enough for anyone, even a virgin, slightly lonely witch. Gage Middleton is a successful author and relationship counselor. His "factors" can indicate the success of any relationship, and he's about to propose to his own perfect match. Until Ms. Perfect dumps him and he has to go on TV and defend his theories against a ridiculous hippy witch with the most beautiful eyes he's ever seen. On a dare from the host, the two set out to follow another couple on their first three dates. Gage and Coral have nothing in common—and neither do the man and woman they follow—but they hadn't counted on their own attraction to each other. Can they let go of their stubborn beliefs and accept that there's nothing to prove? It's Just Love.

Excerpt

Coral woke early, despite the fact that Gage had stayed into the wee hours. He’d been happy to discuss his work, but reticent about his girlfriend. Perhaps the perfect 10 was displeased about their spending these three evenings together. Coral would be happy to reassure her that she had no designs on him. A stuffed shirt like him did not enter her sights. Of course not.

She recalled her decision to consider dating again. Sid was dead, but she was alive. And he’d never want her to live sad and lonely. He had been a kind, considerate guy, finding joy in so many small things. Nothing had taken that from him, even toward the end, when he became a frail shell of his former, robust self. Shame filled her. She’d promised to move on, sworn it as she sat by his deathbed. And she’d broken that vow, or at least neglected it, for three years.
Well, no more. She would begin dating immediately. She’d find someone…somewhere. There sure as heck was nobody in her life now. Filled with purpose, she eschewed surfing for the day and prepared for a small ritual. Time to close one door, so another could be opened. The Goddess could not give her anyone new as long as she clung to the past. And three years was long enough to grieve for someone who had not even been a lover. He’d wanted that, but she hadn’t been sure, and by the time she realized how much he meant to her, his health was so poor she’d only been able to give him her time and care, nothing more.
She closed the curtains, swept the living room, and feather-dusted, wanting a clear space. Then she showered and patted herself dry, leaving her hair hanging down her back, and returned to the living room. Lighting a single, white taper, she sat cross-legged on the floor. White for the Goddess, white for purity. Staring at it, she stood and lit a green one, for change. Once upon a time she would have done more preparation, but truly what occurred was inside herself, and the rest were trappings for onlookers.
The Goddess would understand. Staring at the twin flames, Coral went deep inside and made a wish and a promise. This time, a gift would not be rejected. “Whoever you bring me, Lady, I will not waste the time. I know now how precious and rare true love is.”
When the candles burned down and winked out, she was filled with peace. Perhaps it would be a surfer, or maybe one who practiced the craft…or maybe an accountant. But she trusted that it would be the right one for her, if indeed such a person existed. A flicker of doubt passed through her. If she hadn’t missed her chance.
And looking for the right man would distract her from the wrong one she would be spending the evening with. Gage Middleton, handsome and charming…and even gallant, but he was not for her. The attraction was merely bad timing, or maybe it served to wake her up to her need to move forward.

Kate Richards divides her time between Los Angeles and the High Sierras. She would gladly spend all her days in the mountains, but she’d miss the beach…and her very supportive husband’s commute would be three hundred miles. Wherever she is, she loves to explore all different kinds of relationships in her stories. She doesn’t believe one-size-fits-all, and whether her characters live BDSM, ménage, GLBT or any other kind of lifestyle, it’s the love, the joy I one another, that counts.
Links:  Beachwalk Amazon Facebook Fan Page Goodreads Twitter

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Come Undone (Rock Hard #1)

 

  1/2

On stage he’s dynamite. Off stage he rocks her world.
When red-hot, Goth-metal band, Black Halo, split live on stage, fate throws Daniella Fosbrook into the path of sexy vocalist Xane Geist. Initially, Xane’s only looking for a ride home, but Dani tempts him in a way a thousand other women haven’t. Determined to explore their heady chemistry and avoid hashing things out with the band, Xane whisks Dani off to Monaco for a steamy weekend.
There, Dani tries her best to hang onto her heart and some clothing, while Xane soon loses both. However, Xane isn’t being entirely honest about the reason for the band’s demise. When the truth comes out, can Dani accept the facts, or will everything come undone.

Review

**** HarperCollins UK, Avon, through NetGalley gave me a copy of this book for my honest review****
  I had such a love/hate relationship with Come Undone and it's characters. It was not a typical rockstar romance and the refreshing take was a nice twist but the things that held it apart are also the things that made me want to throw my Nook. There was no fairytale, other than maybe in the beginning when Dani met her rock idol. Beyond that it's issues and mixed emotions, and a hell of a CLIFFHANGER!
Daniella it took me a while to connect with. I don't think we really got a good feel for her character in the very beginning, she was always just whoever someone needed her to be, the best friend, the distraction, never showing her true colors. When you did, you really started to get a feel for how much she really went through, and it made the second half of the story much more enjoyable. Xane was an interesting character. When we first met him he just came across as melodramatic. While being everyone's punching bag as far as the band went, he finally decides to stand up for himself and in turn splits up the band during a concert. Then, instead of dealing he runs away with a fan who seeks healing through his lyrics. I actually ended up enjoying Xane even if he had a flare for the dramatic. His struggle was vastly different than Dani's but just as prevalent. Sexually this book was very intense and hot. Xane's bisexuality was a glorious surprise, as well as his tendency for public sex. It's a promising start, so I'll hang on till the next book. 

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My Favorite Mistake (My Favorite Mistake #1)

 

  

Two secrets. One bet. Who will break first?
Taylor Caldwell can't decide if she wants to kiss her new college roommate or punch him.
On the one hand, Hunter Zaccadelli is a handsome blue-eyed bundle of charm. On the other, he's a tattooed, guitar-playing bad boy. Maybe that's why Taylor's afraid of falling in love with him, or anyone else. She doesn't want to get burned, so she needs him gone before it's too late.
Hunter himself has been burned before, but Taylor's sexy laugh and refusal to let him get away with anything make her irresistible. Determined not to be kicked out of her life without a fight, Hunter proposes a bet: if she can convince him she either truly loves or hates him, he'll leave the apartment;and leave her alone.
But when the man behind Taylor's fear of giving up her heart resurfaces, she has to decide: trust Hunter with her greatest secret, or do everything in her power to win that bet and drive him away forever.

 Review

****Harlequin through NetGalley gave me a copy of this book for my honest review****
My Favorite Mistake was a very traditional New Adult. Maybe I've become jaded or I've just read so many books that I tend to be critical at times, but this one just didn't connect with me. The premise of the whole story felt weak and unrealistic, but while I could look past that if the characters were amazing and things progressed along nicely, it didn't happen. Taylor was supposed to be this tough girl but all she came across as was snippy and selfish, there was nothing allowing me to connect with her. I kept reading page after page hoping for a redeeming factor or a thread that allowed me to connect with her but it never came. Hunter was an alright character, he was sweet but again stereotypical and cheesy, IMO. There was nothing bad boy about him for me. Yeah he had tattoos, but they were all super small and I don't know, being a tattoo fan just, unimpressive. The ideas behind them were a little cheesy as well. And maybe I missed something but while wearing all these symbols of good luck and everyone saying he was born under a lucky star, he just didn't seem to have the best luck. Maybe I'm being cynical, it's a possibility. The side characters didn't interest me, they weren't bad but just blah. The writing itself wasn't bad,just progressed very slowly.
I see a lot of positive reviews so I hope readers try it for themselves, a lot of people seemed to enjoy it, just not for this reader. I really wanted to love this book, and I tried, but unfortunately I'm going to have to give it 3 stars. 

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The Darkest Part

Pressing the boundaries of both the psyche and the heart, Sam and Holden embark on a dangerous journey that will test the limits of love.

Sam Wintry’s life used to be almost perfect. She was engaged to her childhood best friend and high school sweetheart, Tyler Marks, planning an amazing cross-country honeymoon during her college break. But after a hit-and-run leaves her in ruin, she begins seeing Tyler’s fractured, ghostly presence, and her family believes she’s losing her mind. Not until she completes their journey, stopping along the way to scatter Tyler's remains, will Tyler be able cross over. Only...is Sam ready for him to leave her?

When the black sheep of the Marks' family, Holden Marks, returns to check on Tyler's case, Sam convinces him to give her his brother's ashes. Despite their shaky history, she needs him...plus, he owes it to Sam and his brother. What she doesn’t count on is Holden’s relentlessness to go on the trip.

On the road, Holden realizes just how unhinged Sam has become. Dealing with her psychosis forces him to confront his dark past, making it harder to keep secrets hidden that should remain buried. Especially from Sam, the only woman he’s ever loved. And as Sam starts to unravel the truth, she begins to question if the brother she's unwillingly falling for again is in an even darker place than her.

New Adult Contemporary coming this year.

What readers are saying about THE DARKEST PART...

"This is a great story that captures every element bringing it to a full circle of knowledge and love. A worthy read that is unique and entertaining, The Darkest Part is great." - Savannah @ BooksWithBite

"The Darkest Part is not your typical NA. It’s a powerful mentally and emotional story about true love and finding your way out of the darkness. Something that only a talented writer can pull off." - Nereyda @ Mostly YA Book Obsessed

"The Darkest Part is emotional, raw, dark, and passionate, and I felt each of those emotions with Sam and Holden through the entire novel." - Ellen @ Always YA At Heart

Available on Barnes & Noble and Amazon 

for only 99¢ from now until November 2nd!

Find the author...

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Tara Chevrestt

Tara Chevrestt is a deaf woman, aviation mechanic, dog mom, former writer and editor. You’ll never see her without her Kindle or a book within reach. As a child, she would often take a flashlight under the covers to finish the recent Nancy Drew novel when she was supposed to be sleeping. Tara is addicted to Law & Order: SVU, has a crush on Cary Grant, laughs at her own jokes, and is constantly modifying recipes and experimenting in the kitchen. Her theme is Strong is Sexy. She writes about strong women facing obstacles—in the military, with their handicaps, or just learning to accept themselves. Her heroines can stand alone and take care of themselves, but they often find love in the process.
Links: Goodreads Website










Interview
  1. Your theme is Strong is Sexy, what does that mean to you?
Well, while Hollywood tries to tell us sexy means half-naked, big-breasted, small-waisted, with pouty lips and the desire to jump into the sack just about anytime anywhere, real women know that's not what makes a woman sexy. STRENGTH makes a woman sexy, and it comes in many forms. A woman's personality and confidence can make her the brightest star. Her caring nature, her willingness to sacrifice for her family, her ability stand up for herself and others. There are many things that make a woman sexy and just as many things that make her strong. And by strong, I don't mean running around with a sword or a gun and kicking butt, taking names, though that is cool too. I believe strength comes in many forms. I try to talk about that on my blog and show that in my books.

 2. What are some of the most prevalent misconceptions that you encounter when people discover that you're deaf?

They assume I can't talk. I get this a lot: "But you speak so well!" It's so patronizing and so rude.

 3. You very recently stopped writing, why? (I'm not trying to be rude doll, I just saw your post and I was surprised)

It's a flooded market. We (authors) aren't doing ourselves any favors by putting a book a month out there. Readers can't possibly keep up anymore. And there's not much pride in saying, "I'm an author" when Mookie Dookie next door is too, and so is his mother, and oh, his eight-year-old. LOL. Also, poor sales. Readers are the customer and if the customer isn't interested in the product, one doesn't normally waste time manufacturing more of said product. You want to support an author you like? You want them to keep writing? BUY THEIR BOOKS. Don't wait for them to cave and make them free. Buy them, seriously. As I'm no longer writing, I'm free to say that. LOL
Regardless, I'm not willing to write what folks seem to want: submissive females getting tied up and dominated by men. I'm so over that nonsense. *smh* I'm a strong advocate of books with meaning, with depth, with more than just sex or romance. Women have so much more going on in our lives. So much of the literature today makes it look like all we do is sit around thinking about men, wanting men or sex, or wishing to get married. I'm not jumping on that bandwagon.

 4. As a fellow addict to Law & Order:SVU which character is your favorite?

Ooooh. Detective Amaro, hands down. That is one hot honey! That's my only TV crush. I feel like he has a fiery temper under the surface too and I'm always waiting for him to explode. The way he looks at rapists...dang. That's a man to be reckoned with. Other fans of the TV show keep pining for Elliot. I can't say I was ever fond of him. Not sure why.

 5. What is your favorite comfort food?

I have an addiction, actually, to.....don't laugh.....Lunchables! I buy the generic kind though, Cracker Crunchables. It consists of 5 crackers, 5 slices of cheese, 5 slices of ham or turkey, and a mini Crunch candy bar. It's carbs, protein, dairy, and chocolate in a tiny snack. I love those. I also keep a stash of emergency chocolate. My husband was laughing at me the other day, because I had this job interview that stressed me out. I came home pretty down. I was sure I'd blown it, and immediately had to eat a piece of chocolate. I said it was an emergency. LOL
Thank you so much for having me.
Books
  When Ciara Littleton takes the plunge and finally joins Facebook to socialize without the limits that her hearing impairment gives her, on a whim, she looks up a childhood friend. In sending him that first message, she ignites the memories of a crush from twenty years ago. But can a simple friend request fix all that stands between them and lead to something more? Hunter has a lot on his plate. A recent divorce, a pregnant sister, and now, he realizes he's in love with a woman who lives states away. Can he overcome the boundaries of Internet romance to make this desire turn into something real, or will adversity and distance be their undoing--adversity being in the form of his very own sister--the woman who bullied Ciara so mercilessly long ago? This book was formerly titled A Facebook Affair and has been revised with a new ending.



 




When Catalina Rodriguez is attacked by a would-be rapist and rescued by the dashing Ricardo Garcia, she not only becomes more aware of the handsome man, but also vows that she'll never be a damsel in distress again. Using the timeless method of blackmail, she convinces her uncle to teach her to fight and becomes a masked crusader in the night, saving other damsels from robbers and rough handling. However, scandalous rumors and dwindling funds force Ricardo and Catalina to marry. Not immune to each other's charms, their marriage starts fiery, but when one of Catalina's nightly escapades results in dire consequences, she is forced to spurn her husband's amorous advances…or reveal a secret that could turn him away from her forever. Ricardo’s not a man to be cuckolded or left in the dark. Is his wife having an affair with El Capitan, the masked savior? If so…they will both pay. 




 
In the summer of 1916 women do not have the right to vote, let alone be motorcycle dispatch riders. Two sisters, Angeline and Adelaide Hanson are determined to prove to the world that not only are women capable of riding motorbikes, but they can ride motorbikes across the United States. Alone. From a dance hall in Chicago to a jail cell in Dodge City, love and trouble both follow Angeline and Adelaide on the dirt roads across the United States. The sisters shout their triumph from Pike’s Peak only to end up lost in the Salt Lake desert. Will they make it to their goal of Los Angeles or will too many mishaps prevent them from reaching their destination and thus, hinder their desire to prove that women can do it?  






  In ancient times, women were regarded as sacred. They were thought to hold the mystical power of creation—responsible for the continuation of our species. With the rise of science and religion, these myths were dispelled and their plight began. HerStory: Fiction Honoring Women’s History Month is a collection of flash fiction and short stories from today's top authors featuring female characters that exemplify strong strength of mind, body, and character. Some of these tales are based on real people while others are purely fictional. However, all are standing up for themselves and what they believe in. Grab yourself a glass of wine or favorite hot beverage and get comfortable as you read about the lives of women who will light the fire in your soul 
 






  Meet Lola, Pudgy, and Jazzy, three canine cuties that will warm your heart and make you laugh. In Thank Dog It's Friday, Lola and her human mommy, Trisha trade bodies for a day! Can they cope with their new bodies and prevent Trisha's husband from throwing her into a mental institution? Pugnacious introduces Pudgy, a very pugnacious pug. She takes her job in a dog bakery very seriously and when the bakery is robbed, it's up to her to save the day, the cash, and the canine cookies! In Tail of Terror, Jazzy does the unthinkable and she runs away. If she can survive the mean streets, there may be a lesson in store for her and she may make a new friend. Dog Tails is intended for dog lovers everywhere, but even cat lovers will smile and fall in love with Lola, Pudgy, and Jazzy

 






Bridget isn't beautiful. At least she doesn't think so. Besides, her ex always told her she wasn't. And she believes him. So when an online romance leads to a blind date, she heads to the salon for a makeover stat. She's dismayed to discover that her usual stylist isn't available, and she has no choice but to let a man do her hair. Nervousness turns into sexual awareness as the sexy Javier buries his fingers in her tresses. Javier has been aware of the timid but kind woman for some time and vows to make her see that she's beautiful on the outside as well as on the inside. Will he succeed in keeping his own feelings at bay and style her sexy?    








Deaf Isn't Dumb is a motivational story of a young woman, Tara, who faces the challenges of growing up "hearing impaired" in a hearing world. Follow her stories as she recounts everything from childhood bullies to work related restrictions and funny misunderstandings from mispronounced words to fear of Federal Air Marshals. In this tale, straight from the heart, learn that simply because one is deaf--contrary to popular misconception--it doesn't mean they are dumb. 

 





In New York City, seven writers compete for a hundred thousand dollars, a publishing contract with Bright House, and the title of the next bestseller. One is Felicity James. One is Victor Guzman. Drama, plagiarism, and trash talk play out to enthralled audiences across the country as all seven contestants compete against each other in a range of heated challenges, with tensions reaching breaking point. As Felicity and Victor start up a show‐mance, their relationship burns up the ratings. Will this sizzling fling escalate into a vicious battle for money and fame, or will these two authors manage to write their own happy ending?    




 




At a New Year's Eve party, a military wife gets a surprise visitor... A short story of love, loss, and hope.   



 








This is exactly what you need! It’s Valentine’s Day and when Ariel receives a package of incense in the mail from her Pagan friend and mentor, she isn’t sure what to make of the enclosed note. Sure, she has some issues, but who doesn’t? When the smoke releases its magic, Ariel gets an evening of surprise humor and romance, and it is indeed exactly what she needs. 
 







Kimberly Rogers vowed to fight a tragic past the only way she knew how: she joined the Army and became strong. No man would hurt her again. But a war wound sends her to her brother's in Cripple Creek, WY, with vision and hearing impairments. Whereas glasses can help her see and hearing aids can help her hear, nothing can force her to talk again. Is she really unable to speak, or is she hiding behind her disability to protect herself, her pride, and her heart? Regulated to the most menial of jobs, her world in shambles, Kimberly is finally convinced to seek medical assistance. Carlos Medina is Jackson Hole's best therapist. If anyone can make Kimberly speak again, it's him. But Kimberly has to meet him halfway, and Carlos has his own past tragedy that the young, mute woman threatens to force him to conquer. They both have wounds…and sometimes wounds must be reopened before they can heal. Can they open up to each other? Can Kimberly find her voice again and open her heart? Can love heal them both? 


 







USAF fighter pilot Janet Kerrigan is not having a good Christmas. It's bad enough she is stationed in Balad Air Base, Iraq and away from her three year old son, but to make matters worse, she has to spend her Christmas day on Combat Air Patrol. A friend and fellow pilot tells her to make new Christmas memories and much to Janet's surprise, she does, though not the kind of memories she expects. While flying her F-16 Fighting Falcon in the Iraqi skies, Janet is faced with a difficult choice: follow orders and have the glory or ruin her Air Force career in order to save Christmas for boys and girls everywhere.  

 





 Crystal is an enlisted mechanic with a tragic past. Grant is an officer and a pilot with a broken heart. When faced with a difficult decision, will Crystal choose wisely or lose the best thing that ever happened to her? The love between them burns hot, but their relationship won't stay fueled if they can't beat the obstacles in their way. Besides breaking the fraternization rules, Grant and Crystal have the difference of race between them…but can they prove to the rest of the world, and to each other, that love is color blind? Afterburn is about overcoming one's past, not judging others, learning to forgive, and what it's like to be a woman in a "man's world." Previously published under Sonia Hightower.   
 



  It’s the Women’s Air Derby of 1929 and four women all want one thing: to win. For Angeline Miller, it’s one last hurrah before she finally takes that leap into motherhood, but will her husband be waiting on the other side of the finish line? For Penelope Burns, it’s a chance to stick it to her patronizing husband and win her son’s pride and affection back—she hopes. Veronica Truman just wants to make her ailing mother proud. Nancy Devine, Hollywood starlet and diva, wants to be the next Lady Lindy of the Air...and will pay any price. One week, a group of very determined and capable women pilots, sabotage, and fate comes together. Who will fly to success? Who will "crash and burn"? And what awaits them in Cleveland, Ohio?
 





Hear Through My Ears is a motivational story of a young woman, Tara, who faces the challenges of growing up "hearing impaired" in a hearing world. Follow her stories as she recounts everything from childhood bullies to work related restrictions and funny misunderstandings from mispronounced words to fear of Federal Air Marshals. In this tale, straight from the heart, hear through her ears and find out what it's like to face adversity and rise above it. 

A huge thank you to Tara for the interview you rock doll!! Another huge thank you to Lisa at Tasty Book Tours I found this wonderful author when I signed up for a tour.

Zombie, Incorporated

Buy Links

Ebook:

Amazon * Barnes and Noble * Smashwords * Sony * Kobo

Paperback:

Amazon * Barnes and Noble

Blurb

“Newcomer Jill Elaine Hughes raises a fresh new voice in the zombie genre with a story filled with plenty of action, well-rounded characters and lots of shocks. Fun, fast-paced and highly entertaining. ZOMBIE, INCORPORATED rocks!” --Jonathan Maberry, New York Times bestselling author of FIRE & ASH and CODE ZERO

Twilight. With zombies.

Eighteen-year-old Katie Allred is socially awkward and unpopular at school. The only child of parents who had her right out of high school, Katie is herself about to leave the nest, even though she hardly feels ready.

Katie’s new after-school job at the Zimble Box Corporation draws her into the complex social strata of high school cliques and backstabbing friends in ways she never imagined. Katie soon discovers there’s something very strange about the “in” crowd at school---and about her employer, too. Shortly after starting her new job, the Contagion breaks out, plunging her town and the entire nation into chaos as zombie shadow forces come out into the open, ravaging the streets. Katie goes into hiding and her parents disappear, along with almost everyone else she knows.

But Katie soon discovers she has special powers that help her survive. She’s a Beacon, someone with the innate ability to help zombies produce children. It’s a power her employer — and what little remains of the U.S. government — both want to exploit for their own ends. Not only that, it runs in her family---which has a secret past Katie never knew about until now.

Enter Agent Morehouse of the FBI Special Zombie Control Unit. A reformed zombie working undercover, he suppresses his urge to eat human flesh in order to serve and save humanity. But Agent Morehouse can’t help but be attracted to a Beacon like Katie, and she to him. Even as they fight zombies the world over, they must fight their intense attraction to each other, hoping to keep Katie from suffering Agent Morehouse’s terrible zombie fate.

Excerpt

I guess if I really thought hard about it, Mom was right.  The zombie apocalypse was my fault.  Everything was my fault.  I’d ruined her life, and now she wanted me out of it. All the mean underhanded comments over the years, all the passive-aggressive decisions to spend money on herself instead of me, their decision not to plan for my future, all the not-so-subtle hints to get the hell out of her house and become somebody else’s problem----it all made perfect sense now.

                  I could take a hint.  I knew where I wasn’t wanted.  And somehow I figured I’d have a better chance of surviving the coming onslaught of the Undead if I was on my own.  Conventional wisdom says there’s safety in numbers, but I’d watched enough horror movies to know that sometimes it’s best to fly solo.

                  I went to the bookcase and dragged over a milk crate to stand on so I could reach the top shelf. I reached behind the main part of the bookcase to the secret compartment I knew was behind it, the same secret compartment where I’d hidden candy and comic books as part of a treasure hunt game I’d used to play alone as a little girl.  My fingertips felt around until they touched the smooth, cold gunmetal.  I wrapped my fingers around the pistol, pulled it out, inspected it.  It was a lot heavier than I’d expected, yet it still seemed small, too small to be something that could explode and kill someone----or something----in less than a second. The lines of Dad’s semiautomatic Glock were sleek, almost animal-like in their curvature. I didn’t know what I was doing, but on sheer instinct my finger pressed a tiny switch on the spine of the weapon and the chamber popped open, revealing a bullet.  I popped the chamber closed, pressed another switch and the clip fell out into my hand.  I inspected that, studied it, worked out in my head how its various components connected with various components inside the gun which, when the trigger was pulled, would result in a projectile issuing forth, then with a flick of my wrist pushed the clip back inside its slot, heard it click.

                  I knew next to nothing about guns or weaponry or ballistics, other than that I knew my father stored guns in the basement and I had always been forbidden to touch them. But despite that lifetime of ignorance it seemed as if merely holding the weapon in my hand transferred all the knowledge I needed about how or why to use it directly to my brain.  As if I had a natural (maybe even a supernatural) talent for it, or a gift as my grandmother would have said. I could see all the moving parts in my mind’s eye as if they’d been there all along.

                  I reached back into the secret compartment and felt around again until my fingertips touched dusty cardboard.  I grabbed and pulled and came out with a heavy box of magazine clips.  Three magazines, sixteen shells to a clip. I couldn’t do the arithmetic in my head, but I knew it was a lot of bullets.  A lot, but probably not enough.  I reached and grabbed and pulled once again, and retrieved two more boxes of magazines.  Lots and lots of bullets now.  I hoped I’d never have to use them, but just to hold them in my hand felt like a good life insurance policy.

                  I stood and turned my newfound possessions over and over in my hands, studying the switches and gears, memorizing where the safety was and mentally practicing how to disengage and re-engage it. I read the instructions and warnings on the sides of the magazine boxes, noted how they said that semiautomatic-loading weapons were illegal in many states, and the manufacturer had no liability for any physical or legal consequences for any injury or death resulting from improper (or proper? Since guns were for shooting, after all) use of its commercial products. I knew I was holding deadly force within the palm of my hands, and knew that should have scared me at least a little bit.

                  But it didn’t. It did the opposite.

                  Mom watched me do all of this without comment.  I made a point not to meet her eyes for a while, instead keeping my gaze on the gun and the shell magazines. The basement air thickened between us. The ticking sound of the air conditioner as the blower switched on automatically on the other side of the wall seemed way too loud.  We both waited for the other to speak, or at least meet a gaze. But neither of us did, and for far too long a time.

                  Finally, Mom broke the silence. “It’s been way more than ten minutes, and your father isn’t back yet. What do you want to do?”

                  “I don’t know.”

                  “I think you should go up there after him, Katie. Take the gun with you.”

                  I forced myself to meet Mom’s eyes.  I saw a lifetime of disappointment behind her tinted glasses and blue-black mascara.

                  “You’re in a real hurry to get rid of me, aren’t you Mom?” I asked. My tone was cold, deadpan.  I was through with all the bullshit.  I just wanted my mom to tell the truth about me for once.

                  “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

                  “Admit it. You’ve been trying to get rid of me for years.  Makes me wonder why you didn’t just get rid of me before I was born and saved yourself the trouble.”

                  All the color drained from Mom’s face.  “How dare you speak like that to me!”

                  “How dare you say straight to my face that you didn’t want me, that you never wanted me, and that I basically ruined your and Dad’s lives!” I shrieked. “Because that’s basically what you just said.”

                  Mom took off her glasses, pressed her palms flat against her eye sockets and choked down a sob.  “Katie, you’re reading way too much into this.  Your father and I----we made a lot of sacrifices for you.  Most people who became parents as young as we did would never have done even a tenth of what we’ve done for you.  You should be grateful.  And I think it’s high time your father and I had some time to ourselves now that we gave up so much to raise you. Except----“

                  “Except now you can’t. Because of the stupid zombies.  Which I suppose are all my fault too, just like everything else is.”

                  Mom slumped down onto a stack of milk crates. “I never said that.”

                  “You didn’t have to.”

                  We stared each other down for a minute or two, Mom always keeping a nervous eye on the gun.  For a split second I actually considered shooting her with it, but dismissed the idea as insane.  Plenty of teens my age think they hate their mothers, but they really don’t. It’s just a phase all young women go through.  The more I thought about it though, I didn’t hate my mother.  I honestly didn’t feel anything for her.  I was as indifferent to her now as I was to a lump of coal.  And that was far worse that hate.  After all, in order to hate someone, you have to love them first.  I wasn’t sure I ever loved Mom, and in that moment I doubted my mom ever loved me either.  Sending me off to face the zombies and my almost-certain death just proved my theory.

                  “So now you want me to save you from the zombies at the risk of my own life, huh?” I said, fingering the barrel of the gun in my hand. “Sort of kills two birds with one stone, doesn’t it?”

Mom’s face crumpled in horror. “I want you to go find your father!”

                  “Find him yourself.”

                  I turned on my heel and dashed up the creaky stairs, skipping the rotten ones at the bottom.  I was still missing one shoe.

                  I headed up to my room and packed a knapsack with one hand. Clothes, shoes, and random toiletries landed in the bag at random as I kept the gun, cocked and ready to fire, out at an angle and sweeping the air, ready for whoever and whatever might appear.

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